This blows.

A month or two ago, I saw something advertised on our local electronic theatre sign. Tribute bands of Def Leppard and Bon Jovi, both of which I adore. Me and mom especially share a love of Bon Jovi. I shrieked “OH MAH GAWD LOOK AT THE CoMMA SIGN! We have to get tickets!!!” to which she agreed. She finally got them this week and the concert is tonight at 7. I realised I had some problems I didn’t consider because I saw the words Def Leppard and Bon Jovi together and lost what little common sense I have.

This afternoon, I was having stomach and intestinal distress, as usual. Then I thought oh shit, I can’t eat before going because of good ol fucking IBS. I learned my lesson when I ate at Longhorn and went to Ollie’s right after. IBS hit like a brick wall in the book section. I was scared to move and didn’t know where the restroom was. I said out loud “This is it. This is the day I shit my pants at an Ollie’s.” By the grace of god I made it to the restroom. But that episode made me realise I can’t go places after eating a lot of the time. If I don’t eat, I might have a hypoglycemia attack, which means I’d have to leave. No, I don’t have glucose tablets atm. Those didn’t help the miserable feeling it gives. It oddly requires cold milk to subside, usually in about 10 minutes. I know that’s weird but it just be’s that way. 🤷‍♀️ Sometimes this happens even if I’ve recently eaten. There are so many things that could turn a long concert into an absolute disaster. I feel similarly about going to see a movie and there are a bunch I really want to watch on the big screen.

It’s all so depressing. It’s hard to do fun things because my body gives me the middle finger. I told mom, and while she was disappointed, she’s asking her music-loving concert-going neighbour if she wants to go.

I’m so bummed, man. I know my body well and I know what crappy things it can do to ruin a good time.

I also got arthritis (I think) in my right hand literally overnight a little while back. Already had it in my left. They both hurt thrice as bad since yesterday (wtf!?) and it hurts to do simple things. It hurts to bend the left fingers particularly. I usually wake up with a couple of my left fingers locked in place. So fucking weird how this has progressed in a short time. I have psoriasis so I’m wondering if it could be psoriatic arthritis? I don’t know. Guess I’ll have to be more detailed about it with my doctor and probably be referred to yet another specialist and be given yet another pill to cram down my face. It could always be inflammation, or both. My hands are hot as hell.

Mom just called. Neighbour doesn’t want to go, she doesn’t want to go alone, and the tickets are non-refundable. Great. She wasted over $100. I feel like a big, gaping asshole.

I’ve really been feeling dad’s abscence too. I usually do, of course, but it’s been kinda bad the last week or so. I miss my dad!!!

That is all.